January 31, 2018:
Dear diary, it is me again, the great hero Rama. Who would have ever thought that a manly hero/prince such as myself would keep a diary? Oh well, it can be our secret. Anyway, today was the best day of my life. Today, I saw the woman whom my soul longs for and I know I will marry her. How did we meet you ask? Well, it all started like this. My brother, Laks and I had been staying with a hermit, when Laks told me he wanted to go into the city. Feeling up for an adventure, I agreed. We made our way through the marvelous city, which I might add was a little awkward because people kept staring at us. I mean I know I am good looking and all, but crowds of people staring at us was definitely odd. Anyway, we kept going through the city, from street to street just admiring the views. Finally, we arrived at a large arena that they called the Place of Ladies, which was just a meadow of
sports. We took in the view of our adventure and decided to head back for the night.
The next morning when Laks and I were bathing in the stream, we saw some flowers on the bank unlike an other flower we had ever seen. We decided to pick the flower, but upon investigating the flower, we noticed that the flowers actually formed a sort of path, so we followed it. The flower path just so happened to lead into the garden of the king. It was splendid, from the bountiful fruit trees, the marvelous peacocks, the beautiful lake in the center, to the astonishing lotus flowers spread out across the lake, the place was truly fit for a king, no pun intended. We asked the gardener for permission to pick some of the flowers we had seen and he said it was fine so we went about our adventure. While picking flowers, all of the sudden I heard the jingling sound of bangles around a woman's ankle, and I knew then, without even looking, that the woman who was approaching was the woman who I would love for all of eternity. I turned to look and saw the King's daughter Sita, I was breathless.
Sita had beautiful dark hair, soft eyes and a warm smile that would make any man fall for her. We made eye contact and my heart skipped a beat. I could tell she felt the same way by just looking into her eyes. Not a word was spoken between us, but I knew in that moment I would love her for the rest of my life. I turned to my brother and told him that I was in love with that woman and was going to marry her. He looked at me like I was crazy, but he swears, that he saw a look in my eyes and he knew that what I had just said was true. I knew that she would be hard to get, but eternal love is worth it. One day, I will marry Sita. Now looking back on the day, I see that we were clearly meant to follow the path so I could find my true love.
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| Picture of Rama and Sita. Source: Amory Saber |
The next morning when Laks and I were bathing in the stream, we saw some flowers on the bank unlike an other flower we had ever seen. We decided to pick the flower, but upon investigating the flower, we noticed that the flowers actually formed a sort of path, so we followed it. The flower path just so happened to lead into the garden of the king. It was splendid, from the bountiful fruit trees, the marvelous peacocks, the beautiful lake in the center, to the astonishing lotus flowers spread out across the lake, the place was truly fit for a king, no pun intended. We asked the gardener for permission to pick some of the flowers we had seen and he said it was fine so we went about our adventure. While picking flowers, all of the sudden I heard the jingling sound of bangles around a woman's ankle, and I knew then, without even looking, that the woman who was approaching was the woman who I would love for all of eternity. I turned to look and saw the King's daughter Sita, I was breathless.
Sita had beautiful dark hair, soft eyes and a warm smile that would make any man fall for her. We made eye contact and my heart skipped a beat. I could tell she felt the same way by just looking into her eyes. Not a word was spoken between us, but I knew in that moment I would love her for the rest of my life. I turned to my brother and told him that I was in love with that woman and was going to marry her. He looked at me like I was crazy, but he swears, that he saw a look in my eyes and he knew that what I had just said was true. I knew that she would be hard to get, but eternal love is worth it. One day, I will marry Sita. Now looking back on the day, I see that we were clearly meant to follow the path so I could find my true love.
Authors note: I kept the story line the same as the original story, but instead of letting someone else tell the story, I put it in Rama's perspective. I left out the parts from the original story that were about Sita. In the original story, Sita and her maidens were walking in the garden and one of her maidens that was walking ahead, saw Laks and Rama and pointed them out to the group. From the story I can infer that Sita felt the same way about Rama, because on her way back to the palace, she stopped at the temple to pray. At the end of her prayer, flowers fell and she knew then that her prayer was answered. I liked the idea of a diary because who would think that Rama would have a diary, so I thought it would add a sense of humor. I also added the part about the flower path. In the original story, Rama and his brother just go to pick flowers and end up in the king's garden. I found it a little off how two men randomly wanted to pick flowers, so I made the flowers turn into a path that would lead Rama to his true love.
Hello again! I really liked how you wrote this in Rama's perspective. It gives more insight about how he felt when he met Sita. The flower path really sets the mood for the story especially about Rama and Sita's feelings for each other, it's almost like its foreshadowing their meeting. The story has a lot of imagery in it which makes it more interesting to read but what if the paragraphs were broken up? As a reader, it's a bit overwhelming to have a bunch of text squished together if that makes sense but other than that the story is well written. I look forward to reading your next story :)
ReplyDeleteHello! I like the way where you tell the story from Rama's perspective. The character of Rama I always picture was that he never talks romantic things that the way you had portrayed in your story, it was interesting to learn story can be better if author makes it interesting and romantic like the one you wrote. I look forward to reading your next story.
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